[Censored for privacy, sorry, future lemmings)
I’m sorry for your loss of the lifestyle you cherished. Just a random thought: If hearing aids won’t work for you, you could try feeling music instead of hearing it, while it won’t be the same, sensing the underlying beat could help evoke your imagination again and possibly help you rediscover your favourite tunes and new ones.
Definitely the internet is a mixed bag, with lots of doom and gloom, and more cynical and controversial takes elevated to the top. There are also corners of the internet that are positive, definitely go visit them more. Reading fiction and learning from non-fiction literature may be more of a personal comfort than the internet may be.
You have had a major loss.
I’m glad you are still with us to share this story. You wrote in such a clear and eloquent way; it’s clear you cared very much about us that you took the time to communicate effectively.
My father is currently in a nursing home (just for normal end of life stuff). He was a deadbeat most of my life and treated his health really poorly.
It’s cruel that he was able to live the way he did and live for so long, while you’ve done nothing to “earn” your maladies; yet, you’re both in a similar situation (except no one wants to go see him, because of him being a PoS for most of his life). You don’t seem like a deadbeat or a PoS, so as far as I’m concerned, you win.
I hope things turn around completely for you and you’re restored back to full health.
Knowing anything about it I have to ask… would bone conducting headphones work?
someone tells you major life altering loss and grief from two years ago, don’t try to offer solutions to fix the problem.
EDIT: yikes, the internet really is a cold place. yall are really a bunch of unsympathetic fixers and know-it-alls aren’t you? have you ever heard of commiseration? the fucking arrogance of those of you who think you can just waltz in with a solution.