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Y|yukichigai@lemmy.sdf.org to Asklemmy@lemmy.mlEnglish · 6 个月前

What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

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What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

Y|yukichigai@lemmy.sdf.org to Asklemmy@lemmy.mlEnglish · 6 个月前
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  • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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    6 个月前

    Uncut, center out from the bottom.

    Or

    Roll into a cone, bite out the center from the bottom, suck the toppings and sauce through the bottom like a waffle cone, discard the crust.

    • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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      6 个月前

      Dammit. Now I gotta do this to fuck with my kid

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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        6 个月前

        It’s good to build distrust and topics of discussion for therapy as early as possible.

    • Know_not_Scotty_does@lemmy.world
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      6 个月前

      Nah, roll it into a cone with the topings on the outside and try to suck the crust though the topings.

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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        6 个月前

        Please do that in the line to vote, so people feel more confident in how competent the electorate is.

  • Brkdncr@lemmy.world
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    6 个月前

    • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6 个月前

      Came here to post this. He had to have been trolling.

      • pruwyben@discuss.tchncs.de
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        6 个月前

        That was pizza hut’s ad campaign for stuffed crust pizza.

        • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          6 个月前

          Makes so much more sense now. But still.

      • Brkdncr@lemmy.world
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        6 个月前

        The dude is weird and out of touch. I believe everything he does and says is performed without any forethought.

  • Zeppo@sh.itjust.works
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    6 个月前

    This awful video I saw where someone put pizza in a blender and turned it into a casserole

    • Y|yukichigai@lemmy.sdf.orgOP
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      6 个月前

      What about that but as a sausage?

      • jet@hackertalks.com
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        6 个月前

        Here we go!

    • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6 个月前

      I refuse to believe that was anything other than rage bait, like every Chef Club video.

      • Zeppo@sh.itjust.works
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        6 个月前

        Sure, probably. Still qualifies though, right?

        • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          6 个月前

          Oh for sure, I just refuse to believe I’m living in a world where people put pizza in a blender for anything other than rage bait or dealing with a wired jaw and a pizza craving, haha.

  • TurtleCalledCalmie@sopuli.xyz
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    6 个月前

    By licking off the topping and sauce. The base gets reused for new pizza.

    • Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world
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      6 个月前

      Blocked and reported for putting that disgusting image in my head! Ok jk but I think you win the thread

  • tymon@lemm.ee
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    6 个月前

    slapping your face into the middle of the pie and sucking like a dyson

    • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk
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      6 个月前

      sucking like a Dyson

      What, immediately block up, stop working then lots of bits just randomly break off you?

  • phanto@lemmy.ca
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    6 个月前

    Eat the crust, leave the rest.

  • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    6 个月前

    Spiral sliced and slurped as one giant noodle.

    • baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de
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      6 个月前

      i gotta try that

  • Paul Drye@lemm.ee
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    6 个月前

    Turned into a slurry and then administered as an enema.

    • Hadriscus@lemm.ee
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      6 个月前

      Pizza Slurry Enema

      nice band name

      • Birch@sh.itjust.works
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        6 个月前

        Or Jackass stunt

  • juliebean@lemm.ee
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    6 个月前

    take a bit from the outer perimeter, rotate the zza slightly, then take another bite. repeat until you’ve spiral-noshed the whole thing

    • communism@lemmy.ml
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      6 个月前

      OP asked what’s the most incorrect way to eat a pizza. That’s the canonical method, authentic from Italy

      • SorteKanin@feddit.dk
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        6 个月前

        No - in Italy you eat pizza with a knife and fork.

  • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠@slrpnk.net
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    6 个月前

    rolling it up starting from the crust like it was a croissant and then taking a bite, not from the end, but from the side

    OR

    not cut into slices, you tear out the center and slip your head through so it sits around your collar, then lift it to take bites periodically like a candy necklace

  • Sequentialsilence@lemmy.world
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    6 个月前

    With a spoon

    Close second would be chopsticks.

    • ERROR: Earth.exe has crashed@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      deleted by creator

      • PoolloverNathan@programming.dev
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        6 个月前

        How does that even work?

        • HatchetHaro@pawb.social
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          6 个月前

          well, we chinese undergo intense shaolin finger strength training at a young age, and so we all can pick up heavy objects up to 1kg with our chopsticks.

        • superkret@feddit.org
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          6 个月前

          Very well, thanks for asking.

  • Arthur Besse@lemmy.ml
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    6 个月前
    knife + fork + stacked slices, as Donald Trump was called out for on The Daily Show 17 years ago

    screenshot of youtube video of a 2008 episode of the daily show, showing donald trump eating a stack of two slices of NY pizza using a knife and fork. jon stewart looks dismayed, and there is a subtitle saying "Mother f... and you stack your slices, Donald?"

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4Aa6ncIk70

  • brandon@lemmy.world
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    6 个月前

    Blending and drinking through a straw

    • Not Chad McTruth@lemmy.worldBanned from community
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      6 个月前

      tell me youve never tried pizza soup without telling me youve never tried pizza soup

      • metaStatic@kbin.earth
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        6 个月前

        I’ve never tried pizza soup

        fuck, let me try again …

  • superkret@feddit.org
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    6 个月前

    You take it out of the oven, cut a slice as fast as you can and immediately bite down on it, holding it in your mouth until the cheese has completely fused with the roof of your mouth.

  • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
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    Gonna need somewhat of a custom pizza shape for this to work without arousing suspicion. Put the pizza between the toilet rim and the seat. If it sags a bit that’s fine, the seat should hold it in place. Print out a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl and place it on top of the pizza. Close the lid.

    After a few days, invite the crew over for beers. Rig the bathroom light so that it’s very dim. “Sorry, been having issues with it, not sure what the problem is.” Eventually someone is going to notice the ruse. When they do, “Oh shit, my pizza! I was wondering where that went.” Bring it back into the kitchen and offer everyone a slice. They will refuse. “More for me then!” Eat the whole thing.

    Instant legend.

    • TrickDacy@lemmy.worldBanned from community
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      6 个月前

      What the fuck did I just read? You want to eat a piss soaked pizza?

      • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
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        6 个月前

        What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

        • TrickDacy@lemmy.worldBanned from community
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          6 个月前

          Yes, it answers the question but the phrasing made it sound like you actually want to do it…

          • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
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            6 个月前

            I was just following the writing prompt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ll take your comment to mean I done did good :D

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