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A friend showed me once a video of someone building fireproof armor out of a pineapple.
In an alternate universe, Byzantium conquered half the world, and the other half is fending off greek fire using pineapple shields.
hopefully pineapple can get at least honorary pizza topping status for this so this bullshit debate can end already
Agreed, but only the part that can withstand the iron ball, so you all have to start putting pineapple skin on your pizzas.
Still acidic, adds some chew and good fiber?
Bring it.
If you are an adventurer, the one trick to avoiding being eaten by a dragon is to wear a pineapple hat, dough shoes, tomato pants and a cheese shirt. Dragons are known to be quite the gatekeeper, and will refuse to eat the pineapple pizza adventurer.
Same goes if you have cheese undergarments, dough pants and a tomato hat as a Chicago style adventurer
Risky move if you’re taking on an Ice Dragon… it might be Canadian. We love our pineapple pizza.
Super friendly, pineapple pizza loving, Canadian dragons are alright by me…
I enjoy an occasional Hawaiian pizza.
Why was the pineapple discarded?
They didn’t have any pizza to put it on.
Roll initiative.
Asking the real questions here.
They couldn’t cook this mutant pineapple
“And the Pineapple Knight did slew the fire-breathing dragon.”
“And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu—”
“Skip a bit, Brother.”
Sauce: https://x.com/WomaninRedx/status/1790903290131079661
Also, don’t do pineapple armour, kids; this happens due to a Leidenfrost effect. The ball is hot enough to instantly vapourise water from the skin, insulating it with a thin layer of vapour. A less hot ball would damage it more, and so would fire.
Oh yeah, pineapples have always been associated with toughness.
I mean… If you showed this to a medieval peasant and told them it was dragon hide, they might actually believe you.
And the pineapple armor works wonderfully, until its enzymes digest you enough that the line between knight and pineapple becomes unclear, like Leto Atreides II covering himself in Sand Worm Trout and becoming the God Emperor of Dune.
Okay but this could be the lore for a Dark Souls NPC
You’ve seen onion armour, now fight the pineapple boss!
So if I wear pineapple armor I become a God Emperor?
Probably doesn’t work when it’s dried out though.
Keep it dry in your stuff and when you know a fire danger could be coming rehydrate it!
Now I need a paladin multiclass with pineapple rind plate armor, and a class that knows
Create Waterat level 1…Oath of the Open Sea has that.
Summon shark mount
Thanks for the source!
Oh, there seems to be no pineapple video but these are entertaining nonetheless!
Oh man thanks for reminding me AG exists! They’re amazing!
It’s good armor if you can handle the constant acid damage from the pineapple trying to digest you.
