One is a watch. The other is an expensive piece of jewelry that is also a watch.

I’m just here to brag about my old Casio G-Shock.

CSB: Just before the collapse of the USSR I was part of a youth sailing exchange program. They sent some kids here to compete in some races and we went there to compete. The whole thing was set up as a sort of goodwill ambassador thing. Back then rainbows were streaming out of all our asses because we thought that the end of the cold war would meant peace on earth and a new era of prosperity (oops). My dad gave me a G-Shock before I left.

The official exchange rate sucked. 2 USD per Ruble. Fortunately we stood out like sore thumbs as soon as we showed up and some local “entrepreneurs” kindly offered us much better exchange rates (the best I managed was 20 Rubles per USD). Of course, these totally legitimate businessmen didn’t limit themselves to currency exchange. They also dealt in direct barter. They often tried to hawk one of their “military” Komandirskie watches for my G-shock. We’re talking craptacular mechanical POSes where numbers would fall off the face if you looked at them too aggressively. I told them that I’d trade but not for a watch. I wanted a sable hat.

To show them how much better my watch was I took it off my wrist. Grabbed it by one strap and whipped it against the concrete floor as hard as I could. One strap popped off. I popped it back on while they laughed at me, showed them it still worked fine and I told them it was their turn. They didn’t take me up on that or give me a sable hat.

But they gave up on trying to convince me that they had anything that could compete with my G-Shock. I’ve changed the battery on that thing twice since then. The light sucks and it looks basic AF but that thing will definitely outlive me and my whole family.