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Funkwonker@lemmy.blahaj.zone to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 6 months ago

The Divine Dick

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The Divine Dick

lemmy.blahaj.zone

Funkwonker@lemmy.blahaj.zone to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 6 months ago
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  • kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    I don’t think He/Him are neopronouns as the prefix neo- means new. Surely His would be old (paleopronouns), or timeless (aeternuspronouns), rather than new

    • RandomVideos@programming.dev
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      6 months ago

      Relative to eternity, the invention of the english language is pretty new

    • Grail (Capitalised)@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Out of curiosity, would you say My pronouns are neopronouns? I use capitalised pronouns too. And I’m also a god. Not a capital-G god, just a regular polytheistic kind. Does the acceptance of our current society play a role in whether they’re neopronouns? Are they new when I use them, and old when Deus uses them?

      • ayyy@sh.itjust.works
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        6 months ago

        you need serious help

        • Yeather@lemmy.ca
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          6 months ago

          Wine is cheaper than therapy.

        • Grail (Capitalised)@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Thank you. You’re welcome to join the soulist movement and help Me overthrow realism. http://soulism.net

          • ayyy@sh.itjust.works
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            6 months ago

            https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder

            • Grail (Capitalised)@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/anarcho-narcissism-b647c8062173

              • ayyy@sh.itjust.works
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                6 months ago

                That was an interesting read, thanks for sharing. The attempt to draw parallels between anti-narcissism and anti-semitism are really gross though.

                • Grail (Capitalised)@lemmy.world
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                  6 months ago

                  Why is that?

      • kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Newness is the quality of having been recently created or having started existing recently. The deific pronouns surely came before the standard canon of human/mortal pronouns, just as their subject deities predate humanity, perhaps both having always existed. It doesn’t have anything to do with societal acceptance.

        • candybrie@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Uh, pronouns are just words. They don’t have some innate quality that means they had to exist when the entities those pronouns describe began. He/Him is likely about as old as he/him.

          • kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            The original post described them as neopronouns, which is a category of pronouns that have arisen recently due to changes in how we understand and describe gender. Pronouns like xe/xer, for example. The pronouns for a timeless being that predates humanity would hardly be “new” by any standard. I was having fun with the idea they would be old or eternal pronouns by comparison to Humanity’s pronouns. You took the joke too seriously.

  • half coffee@lemy.lol
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    In mormonism if you don’t do their special ceremonies and have multiple wives, you lose your dick for eternity. I learned that in Sunday school when I was 12 lol.

    • wjrii@lemmy.world
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      Mormon theology also pretty much just cuts the Gordian knot proposed in this post by saying, “Fuck yeah he’s got a dick. Uses it ALL THE TIME.” I believe that a “perfected body” was the verbiage I was taught in Sunday School. Tritheistic heresy, Shmitheistic Shmeresy…

      • Prehensile_cloaca @lemm.ee
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        6 months ago

        Begins pissing in a whirling dervish

    • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Kid: “Then I won’t do the ceremony because I never wanted a dick in the first place.”

      Mormons: “No! That’s not how you play the game!”

  • Unpigged@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    6 months ago

    You should know how much time Christian monks spent reasoning about the foreskin of Christ.

    It’s a lot.

    Long enough to postulate that once the Jesus ascended, his foreskin ascended as well and become. The. Rings. Of. Saturn.

    Sky will never be the same, won’t it?

    • ChanchoManco@lemm.ee
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      6 months ago

      At that point it’s just Greek mythology all over again.

      • Unpigged@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        6 months ago

        Yeah but with significantly less blackjack and hookers and significantly more foreskins. Cause you didn’t think there was only one foreskin on display for all those pilgrims, did you?

  • olosta@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    The weird thing is that a lot of christians (including the Catholic church) affirm that God “the Father” has actually no gender.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_of_God_in_Christianity

    • loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works
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      deleted by creator

      • Praise Idleness@sh.itjust.works
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        deleted by creator

      • Prehensile_cloaca @lemm.ee
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        6 months ago

        Rulers have what now?

        • loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works
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          deleted by creator

      • Nat (she/they)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        6 months ago

        I know people like to call the holy trinity absurd because of the multiple entities being 1 entity, but I would like to direct your attention to plural people. Holy-trinity-like situations actually occur in real people. Even with different genders.

      • Johanno@feddit.org
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        6 months ago

        Jesus is not god.

        • loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works
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          deleted by creator

        • groet@feddit.org
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          6 months ago

          The holy trinity, the father, the son and the holy spirit are the same entity.

        • stingpie@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Don’t know why people are down voting this. That’s canonically correct in the Jewish an Muslim traditions.

  • Live Your Lives@lemmy.world
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    Technically, you can’t say that He/Him are God’s preferred pronouns because the capitalization doesn’t appear in the oldest texts. They are more a matter of tradition than of reality. However, you could say that’s even worse because Christians have embraced these neopronouns on God’s behalf.

    • Grail (Capitalised)@lemmy.world
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      What if He came out as trans in the 19th century and influenced the scholars to change His pronouns through dreams?

    • Dasus@lemmy.world
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      I can’t really call something that’s literally as old as writing a “neo-” anything. Non-standard, perhaps?

      There’s some interesting conversation about this topic though.

      https://ell.stackexchange.com/questions/83130/does-the-word-god-get-the-pronoun-it-or-he

  • lath@lemmy.world
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    Considering how consistently the world gets fucked, yeah, I’d say there’s a divine Dick out there doing all the fucking.

    • Valthorn@feddit.nu
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      6 months ago

      Are earthquakes the planet having an orgasm?

      • lath@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        I’m more inclined to call it indigestion…

  • CptEnder@lemmy.world
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    Oh there’s plenty of Christian nationalist men thinking about “divine dick”

  • Hupf@feddit.org
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    6 months ago

    That’s it, I’m using He/Him pronouns now.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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      And I bet when You do this, You’ll expect us all to use the pronouns that You want us to-

      Fuck.

      • Grail (Capitalised)@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Thank you for respecting people like Me.

    • Grail (Capitalised)@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      One of Us! One of Us!

  • 𝔄 𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔭𝔦𝔢𝔠𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔢𝔰𝔢@lemmy.world
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    I wouldn’t call them neopronouns, they’re more like archeopronouns.

  • omega_x3@lemmy.world
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    God never addressed themselves as him/her. They referred to themselves as I am.

    • Pacattack57@lemmy.world
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      There are definitely He pronouns in the bible

    • humorlessrepost@lemmy.world
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      And the equivalent of we/us, as I think you’re alluding to.

  • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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    There are several other gods and goddesses named in the old testament, so I’m willing to buy that the Christian god has a dick, and it’s for inserting into goddesses. And given the personality on display by said diety, I’d wager said dick could pass through the eye of a needle and still have room for the camel.

  • EleventhHour@lemmy.world
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    I would love to see the prompt that generated this ChatGPT response.

  • Sheridan@lemmy.world
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    Captain Kirk: “What does God need with a penis?”

    • Tabula_stercore@lemmy.world
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      Masturbate while watching you

      • enkers@sh.itjust.works
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        6 months ago

        Thy will be done
        On earth as it is in heaven

        • loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works
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          deleted by creator

    • Prehensile_cloaca @lemm.ee
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      “Well I get bored on my starship, same as you.”

  • aleats@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    The whole capitalization of pronouns thing was pretty much entirely made up around the 19th century anyway (as well as the capitalizing the word “Lord”, which the King James version invented outright), so you can argue that protestant churches are following a woke plot to change the pronouns of the christian god as well.

    • tiredofsametab@fedia.io
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      LORD vs Lord does hold some distinction in the source material. IIRC LORD is for uses of the divine name whereas the other ones are not. But then you have the whole, El, Elohim, tetragrammaton, god, lord, etc. mess with them probably not historically referring to the same entity to begin with, but that whole book is a mess.

    • Grail (Capitalised)@lemmy.world
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      As a capitalised pronoun user, I can confirm they’re woke.

  • TooManyFoods@lemmy.world
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    I mean it was up in the sky about a month ago. The last time it was visible was apparently in ancient Egypt. If you missed it, to bad. The news said it wouldn’t be visible again until he gets a prostate exam in over a thousand years

    • stingpie@lemmy.world
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      The onion is back, baby!

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