maybe... maybe this will rule me? [edited*, no ai]

i - i - shivers i might not be able to help myself does weird arm movements i-iii ii ---- i might need this, i might need it for myself yesyes, its such a - its such a fun and intellectually stimulating project to work on and andand it would be my first "real project i could show" andandand it would totally be worth the hate on lemmy and ---- and i gotta do sooomething riiiight so i better do something that is fun--- and video games feel like more of a chore and watching yt feels even worse sooo this is totally valid yesyes im not evil and also this is not consumerism so its good clearly and also this is good

it would - it would - it would be the perfect portfolio piece, wouldn't it beeee? yesssss- that is it. that must be it- my saving grace- my magnum opus- the one thing i can point to and say "i made a full thing and it works and is better than most" yesssss-----

surely this will clear my head of those foul thoughts and let me focus on what i truly care about afterwards, certainly infact!

* note

source image taken from here

blahaj zone image link

context for anyone who cares

i used to work on some Godot Game Engine specific agent. yes, those bs "ai agents" you hear shilled about on twitter or whatever.

i loved working on it! its fun implementing complex text parsers to read text tokens to take action within Godot to then return to the agent so it can see what to do next.

it was a great project i just - i loved it. its still on git, heres an unfinished "ad" i wanted to post on full release but also scrapped cuz i wanted to "get away from the bubble"... oh well.

but - oh surprise: people hate "ai". and i agree. image, video, audio, blog post generation stuff is obviously bs and like.... just awful and stuff-

but oh boy did i have fun making that agent.... even just the UX, i was really proud of it, since it was all my doing.

but i let it down. i put it to rest during a ceramony in the matrix 196 chat, where i layed flowers on its grave.

but now... i am getting the itch.. the itch to continue.for more than a year now i tried to ignore the urge, all the ideas i got to improve the systems, rewrite them to be.... better and more maintainable, apply new knowledge i had learned about skill.md... i think about them almost each night before going to sleep and im not kidding.

maybe - just maybe - actually fully finishing the project with a satisfying oomph im done would get those thoughts out of my head.