How do you grow your hair out without going crazy? What should I show/tell my stylist?

For the past few years I've been keeping my hair short but recently I decided to start growing it out. I haven't had actually long hair in years and I completely forgot how much of a pain in the ass growing your hair out is, especially when it's just long enough to get in your way but not long enough to do anything with. All of this isn't even getting into the dysphoria aspect. I just want to have an androgynous hairstyle that's long but I really don't know what to aim for and how to avoid it being too fem/too masc. Does anyone have any tips? Any suggestions for what to tell/show to my friend who's a stylist and cuts my hair? My hair is very straight and kind of a mullet currently. Just at my eyes in the front and down to the base of my neck in the back, the sides go a little past my jaw. I also have an undercut. My goal is to be androgynous and at least try to avoid the constant misgendering I get from trans and cis people alike.